Fun craft time with your toddler

The longer I'm a mom, the more I realize it's up to me to enrich my child's life.  Yes, his daycare is wonderful - they sing, dance, play games, do arts & crafts and have a jolly good time, but I also feel like part of that is my responsibility as his mother (plus I want to do all that fun stuff with him too).

Initially I was very daunted by the idea of trying to organize activities for my son (he'll be 2.5 next month), that's when I had an "ah ha" moment.  Toddlers have super short attention spans.  I didn't need to plan activities that would last for hours - just a short 10-30 minutes.  Once I had this realization, I started Googling and doing different crafting activities with my son - sometimes it's just coloring in a coloring book (but hey, we're doing it together) - other times I put a bit more effort into it and we "make" something.

To date we've made a telescope from a papertowel roll (which we covered in construction paper bits and painted) and this past weekend we made a paper bag puppet (who got his hair removed the moment we were done, lol).

Point is, don't be intimidated mommies!  There are lots of great resources out there and these crafts don't take a lot of time (or money ... or if you're like me, creativity).  The main things I learned are that (1) it doesn't have to be something super well thought out; (2) it doesn't have to be priceless work of art you'll want to frame and keep forever; (3) have fun with it - get involved with your toddler and (4) encourage their inner artist simply by presenting them with these opportunities to be creative.

Here are some great links of sites with craft ideas and a few inspirational pictures of my son's own handy work :)

• Buzzfeed: 25 of the best toddler crafts for little hands
• 42 Toddler Crafts for you to try from I Am That Lady blog
• Kiwicrate Top Toddler Crafts - I heart Kiwicrate btw - I want to order them for my son, but have yet to give in to the urge
• Easy Crafts for Toddlers
• Crafts for Preschoolers and Kindergartners

Should you pay your child for good grades?

A few years back there was an article in USA Today about school systems providing monetary rewards for kids who do well in school (and on tests ...).

My personal experience growing up is that we were paid for good grades (like $5 for every A or something like that); however as I grew up I realized this system of reward could also be skewed (for example: I got a B in AP Bio while my sister got an A in the lowest level science class - she got $5 and I did not).

I haven't thought about this issue yet and what I'll do about it - after all, my son is only almost 2.  However, after reading a few blog posts lately on the topic I do have some thoughts and I'm curious to see what yours are as well.  At the end of the day, what I desire most is for my son to have a genuine passion for learning - I don't want to have to bribe him to get up and go to school and do well just for some monetary reward on the back end, I want him to get joy from the educational experience.

We make learning activities fun at our house - when we're practicing counting or our letters, often times snacks are involved (how many grapes do I have?).  I'm hoping to instill in my son at a young age, a joy for learning - a curiosity to be sated through books & education.  Will I reward him for a job well done in school?  More than likely.  Will I promise him on the front end of a school year that good grades will equal rewards?  Probably not.  I would prefer for him to make the association that hard work in turn equals rewards since this is how the real world works (good employees earn raises and promotions, they aren't promised them when they're hired).  I also think I will reward him in other ways aside from money - if he does really well in school perhaps we'll take a trip to some foreign country as a family where we can have fun and learn about other cultures.  If he does really well on a test, perhaps when he asks for something on one of our shopping trips out, I'll agree and say something to the effect of "you've done so well in school this week, I'm really proud of you - if you want that toy, I'll buy it for you".

I guess my conclusion on the whole matter is - I believe children should be rewarded for performance well done, I'm just not sure I agree with the whole approach of cash payments for good grades.  What are your thoughts on this matter?

Disclaimer: this post is purely my opinion and is not meant to offend any one in any way.  If you choose to comment on this post, please do so respectfully.

Gender neutrality - thoughts?

This is a subject I've come across many times during my research as a parent.

Here are some great articles in case you're not 100% up to speed on "gender neutrality" and Gender Neutral Parenting (GNP):

• 5 Myths About Gender Neutral Parenting by Paige Lucas-Stannard
• Can you really raise a genderless child? by Anna North
• Honest thoughts on my son playing with "girls toys" by Joe DeProspero

If you haven't heard the concept before, in general - GNP refers to raising you children without strict gender roles (i.e. if you son wants to wear pink or your daughter wants to dress up like Superman, you're ok with it).

There are more and more times since my son was born that I'm grateful for the time that I live in.  Gays no longer have to hide who they truly are, we're free to love amongst the races and there is more open-mindedness and acceptance for people of all walks of life.  This is the world I always wanted for my son.  My only wish for my son is his happiness - whatever walk of life he chooses, I just want him to be happy.  He'll have my love regardless, that after all, is unconditional.

I am a proponent of GNP, but not stringently so (like the couple in Anna North's piece above).  My son routinely plays with my purses, clothes, shoes & makeup.  Let's be real here: he's only 2.  He sees mommy using it and he's curious.  I don't believe for a second that my son exploring and playing with these items is going to fundamentally alter who he is as a person. 

When my husband & I decide to conceive another child, I'm going to purposely buy my son a doll (and probably a play crib and stroller) - why you may ask?  So that he can adjust to the new baby in our lives by doing what mommy & daddy do - feeding the baby, walking the baby and putting the baby to sleep.  If anything, should some of this experience stick with him subconsciously, I'd like to think it will someday contribute to him being a good father for his own children.

In general, I really don't define toys as for one gender or another.  Do I purposely buy my son dolls?  No.  Does he play with them at school?  Yes.  Does this bother me?  No.  If we happened to be at the store, and he communicated to me that he wanted a doll - would I buy him one?  More than likely.  The only way my son will ever grow and learn and become who he is truly meant to become is by exploring all of the options available to him - and I want that for him, I want him to discover what he truly loves and commit to those things with a passion that will bring his life happiness.

What are your thoughts on Gender Neutral Parenting (GNP)?  Do you think gender stereotypes will ever truly disappear?  Should they? 

Disclaimer: this post is purely my opinion and is not meant to offend any one in any way.  If you choose to comment on this post, please do so respectfully.

Timeout - yay or nay?!

Recently I read the following articles regarding time-out:

• Probing Question: Is time-out a good form of discipline for children? by Angela Spivey
• 10 Time-out Techniques by Dr. Sears
• Why Time-Out Is Out by Becky Batcha

My son is 22 months (almost 23 months!) and so far I haven't implemented any kind of formal discipline policy with him.  I am very on top of positive reinforcement in terms of "good job buddy", hugs, head pats, smiles & eye contact when he does something that pleases me or follows direction.  As much as I hate to admit it, sometimes in the heat of the moment I do spank him (never very hard - he mostly just looks at me like "what was that for?") - usually this occurs when he does something he's been told "no" on several times before, he's endangering his physical safety (i.e. running into the street) or he's made a huge mess (spilled shampoo all over the floor).  Usually afterwards, I immediately feel guilty, hug him and explain "no hunny, shampoo stays in the bottle, it doesn't go on the floor" or something like that.

After reading these articles, I think I'm going to give time-out a try.  If you have any suggestions about how to introduce time-out, please let me know.  Obviously since he's only almost 2, it will be a very short timeout, but I'm hoping that over time these time outs will reinforce positive behavior.  I'll keep you updated on how it's going and I hope these resources help you as well.  Do you have any tips on how to reinforce positive behavior and discourage negative behavior?

Chore Chart

I just found out about this awesome site called My Job Chart where you can set up free chore charts for your children.  Originally I had been planning to purchase the Melissa & Doug Magnetic Responsibility Chart for my son, but I might have to give this website a chance first (since it's free!).  Has anyone used either of these items before?  He's just getting ready to turn 2 and I think the magnets may appeal to him more at first ...

7 Traits to Be Successful

Being a parent is tough - at times we're not always up to the challenges that may come with raising our sons & daughters to be smart, compassionate, productive members of society.  I came across the following listing 7 traits to be successful that parents should regularly demonstrate around their children.  Give it a read and let me know what you think - do you practice these traits in front of your children?

7 Traits to be Successful
Character Strengths & Corresponding Behaviors

Disclaimer: this post is purely my opinion and is not meant to offend any one in any way.  If you choose to comment on this post, please do so respectfully.