Fun craft time with your toddler

The longer I'm a mom, the more I realize it's up to me to enrich my child's life.  Yes, his daycare is wonderful - they sing, dance, play games, do arts & crafts and have a jolly good time, but I also feel like part of that is my responsibility as his mother (plus I want to do all that fun stuff with him too).

Initially I was very daunted by the idea of trying to organize activities for my son (he'll be 2.5 next month), that's when I had an "ah ha" moment.  Toddlers have super short attention spans.  I didn't need to plan activities that would last for hours - just a short 10-30 minutes.  Once I had this realization, I started Googling and doing different crafting activities with my son - sometimes it's just coloring in a coloring book (but hey, we're doing it together) - other times I put a bit more effort into it and we "make" something.

To date we've made a telescope from a papertowel roll (which we covered in construction paper bits and painted) and this past weekend we made a paper bag puppet (who got his hair removed the moment we were done, lol).

Point is, don't be intimidated mommies!  There are lots of great resources out there and these crafts don't take a lot of time (or money ... or if you're like me, creativity).  The main things I learned are that (1) it doesn't have to be something super well thought out; (2) it doesn't have to be priceless work of art you'll want to frame and keep forever; (3) have fun with it - get involved with your toddler and (4) encourage their inner artist simply by presenting them with these opportunities to be creative.

Here are some great links of sites with craft ideas and a few inspirational pictures of my son's own handy work :)

• Buzzfeed: 25 of the best toddler crafts for little hands
• 42 Toddler Crafts for you to try from I Am That Lady blog
• Kiwicrate Top Toddler Crafts - I heart Kiwicrate btw - I want to order them for my son, but have yet to give in to the urge
• Easy Crafts for Toddlers
• Crafts for Preschoolers and Kindergartners

Recipe: 30 minutes or less: Paprika Chicken

You may have figured out that when it comes to cooking I'm all about (1) quick and (2) easy.  Yes, I'd also like to get "yummy" out of my meals and this one delivers on all 3.

When I got married, I got gifted several cookbooks from The Pampered Chef - one of our favorite recipes out of the 29 Minutes or Less cookbook is Paprika Chicken & Egg Noodles.

I'll share the recipe in it's entirety along with the changes I made in parenthesis.  This is a great recipe because you're constantly moving in the kitchen and before you know it - bam done!  I'm also able to get 85% of the dishes done before the meal is ready (a favorite bonus perk of mine).

Ingredients:

• 8 oz green beans (I've used both fresh & canned - my guys prefer canned).
• 1 lb boneless, skinless chicken thighs (I use maybe 1/3 of a pound and use chicken breast meat)
• 1 tbsp paprika
• 1/2 tsp salt (I just shake the shaker a few times)
• 1/4 tsp coarsely ground black pepper (again, I just shake the shaker a few times)
• OPTIONAL: 1/4 tsp cayenne pepper (I do use this and I don't tolerate spicy food well, so non-spicy food eaters should be ok)
• 8 oz mushrooms (I do presliced from the store because I'm lazy)
• 1 medium onion (I have never used an entire onion in a meal before - I use 1/4 of a medium onion for this)
• 3 tbsp butter, divided
• 8 oz uncooked egg noodles (one bag of noodles makes two meals!)
• OPTIONAL: 2 tbsp snipped fresh dill (I've never used this)
• OPTIONAL: sour cream (I've never used this)

Steps:

1. Bring salted water to boil.  If using fresh green beans, cut diagonally into 2-in pieces, set aside.
2. Lightly spray skillet with vegetable oil; heat over medium high heat 1-3 minutes or until hot.  Meanwhile, dice chicken into 1-in pieces; sprinkle with paprika, salt, black pepper & cayenne pepper, if desired.  Cook 5-7 minutes or until centers of chicken are no longer pink, stirring occasionally.  Remove chicken from skillet, set aside.
3. As chicken cooks, cut mushrooms into quarters (or if you're me, wash some dishes).  Cut onion in half lengthwise, then into 1/2-in wedges (I cut mine to the point I can put it into my food processor and let it do the work).  Add 1 tbsp of butter to skillet.  Cook and stir mushrooms and onion over medium high heat 5 minutes or until golden brown.
4. Meanwhile (by meanwhile, I usually do this before I start the chicken on step 2 above), add noodles to boiling water and cook 2 minutes.  Add green beans and cook uncovered, 5-6 minutes or until noodles are cooked to desired tenderness.  Carefully remove 3/4 cup of the cooking water for use in sauce.  Drain noodles and green beans using colander.
5. Add chicken and cooking water to skillet; stir to loosen browned bits from bottom of skillet.  Cook and stir 2-3 minutes or until sauce is thickened and chicken is heated through.
6. Meanwhile, toss noodles and green beans with remaining 2 tbsp butter.

The recipe says to serve by putting the noodles/green beans on the plate and then topping with chicken/vegetable mixture - however, I've taken to mixing everything together in one pan as I feel that gives the overall meal a better flavor - feel free to serve it however you'd like!  If you'd like to use dill and/or sour cream, the recipe states to add it as a garnish to each individual plate.

Pictures of the magic happening:

Haha, those bottom few show: (1) that I can do dishes while I cook; (2) proof kids will eat it too and (3) the finished yum yum product.

Share links to your favorite 30 minutes or less recipes below, I'm always looking to try new things.

Bon appetit!

Winter Car Seat Coat Rules

Since it has started cooling down for fall and approaching winter, I figured I would go ahead and share the following: wearing winter coats in a car seat is a huge no no.  The thickest item a child should ever have on is the equivalent of a thin fleece jacket.  When in doubt on whether an item is ok for a child to wear in a car seat, put the jacket (or whatever it is) on the child and put them in the car seat - adjust straps accordingly.  Then remove the child, take the jacket off and put the child back in the car seat.  If the straps fail the pinch test, that clothing item is too bulky and should not be worn by the child in the car seat.

Some tips to keep kids warm:

• Put jackets on backwards after child is strapped in car seat.
• Cover car seat with blanket.
• Turn car on and get it warmed up prior to putting child in car seat.

If you're still thinking, it's ok - see these pictures and YouTube video below:

Help! How can I get my new baby to sleep through the night?!

Yay – your baby is here!!  You’re breastfeeding (or formula feeding) and life is awesome.  Then a few months go by … you love your squidgy bundle of joy, but you’re starting to feel it and you’re getting tired.  Then maternity leave ends … now these middle of the night feedings are taking their toll.  What’s a mother to do?

How to get your baby to sleep through the night

This is the story of how I eliminated nighttime feedings with my son.  While I could’ve done this sooner, I got him sleeping through the night at 5 months old (I went back to work when he was 3 months old).  I consulted my pediatrician and did a bunch of research (via books & internet) and this is what worked for us.  Recognize that every baby is different, but in general – they are physically capable of sleeping through the night at anywhere from 3-5 months (it will come down to your emotional strength as a mother – you’ll see what I mean below). 

General information, tips & advice (from articles I read and my personal experience):

•           Per my pediatrician, when babies are 11-12 lbs their tummies are physically large enough to hold enough food for them to be content through the night. (It is important to note that “through the night” generally means your baby will sleep a solid 6-8+ hours).  That is why you will often hear people say “mine started sleeping through the night at 2-3 months” (depending on the size of their baby).  Your baby should be getting approximately 2 oz per every pound they weigh of milk (whether BM or formula) per day – so if you have a 20 lb baby, they should be getting roughly 40 oz of milk per day.  This will decrease slightly as you introduce solid foods as nutrients will be consumed through the food; however your baby should consistently be getting approx. 24-32 oz per day even with food to maintain good bone/brain development.  Lastly, babies of this age should be getting approx. 14 hours total sleep throughout the day/night.
•           Babies often follow routines – either set by parents/daycare or they set them themselves.  When trying to alter baby’s routine, you should make gradual changes and not try to change multiple things at once.  A good example is – you may notice results following the recommended steps below; however perhaps on the weekend your baby’s schedule is different from the schedule he/she follows at daycare – during the weekend you may notice relapses in your progress.  This is because you’ve tried to change too much all at once.  While trying to get your baby to sleep through the night, try to keep the rest of his/her daily routine as on point as possible (i.e. if you’re planning a trip or an outing sometime soon, maybe wait until that has passed to try changing this aspect of his/her daily routine).  Personally, we try to keep Bryce’s schedule at home on the weekend (in terms of feedings/naps) within a one hour window of when they do it at daycare – it keeps him happier and come Monday he doesn’t fuss at school when things are changed.
•           If you’re breastfeeding, I found the following to be helpful as you try these steps: (1) baby needs to sleep in his/her own bed, in his/her own room – this is for multiple reasons, but the primary ones being (a) when you lactate in the middle of the night (i.e. leak) – baby can smell the milk and automatically assumes it’s time to wake up & eat and (b) most babies (of course every baby is different) are somewhat fitful sleepers – a baby’s REM cycle can be drastically different from an adults and they tend to sleep more towards semi-wakefulness than adults do; by limiting the amount of distractions by putting baby in his/her room (i.e. you won’t hear him/her roll over – he/she won’t hear you roll over) you increase the likelihood of baby enjoying uninterrupted, deeper sleep (and you too!) – not to mention, you’re able to increase intimate time with daddy (which is a pleasant perk) ;).   (2) when trying the steps below (as much as it sucks) – get out of bed to feed baby, go into baby’s room and sit in the rocking chair or glider to feed the baby.  Make sure baby stays awake for a complete feeding (15-30 minutes) and then put baby back to bed immediately and go back to your own bed.  Personal experience: we would start Bryce out in his bed and when he woke up (2-3x a night depending) I would go get him, pop him on the boob and come back to bed; what I came to find as I followed the steps below was that he was just “topping of his tank” (i.e. taking a few large mouthfuls and going back to sleep) – he was nursing more for comfort than nutritional value (and because it had become part of his “routine” to wake up & eat at that time).
•           If your baby is 6 months old and you haven’t established a baby food routine (i.e. your just experimenting here or there) – establish that first.  Get baby consistently eating baby food for 3 meals a day, plus milk and then attempt to make the change.  At 6 months – each meal should consist of roughly ¼ cup cereal/oatmeal (we did oatmeal), ½ tub of baby food and 4 oz bottle of milk (including whatever milk you stir into the food) (morning & afternoon snacks should be able half that amount of food, same amount of milk).
•           Never wake baby up to eat, only respond to baby.  Maintaining the cycle of nighttime feeding is counterproductive to getting baby to sleep through the night.  Also, if you haven’t already – don’t change baby at night unless baby has gone poop or is excessively damp.  An obvious tip – keep lighting very dim or none at all.  The less you disturb baby, the better. 

Ok – so now to the process, lol – if you follow the steps below you should be able to wean your baby of nighttime feedings within 1-2 weeks (depending on how you proceed):

Step 1: Observe routine: unless your baby already has a set routine of times they wake up, for the first day or two observe your baby: what times do they wake up, how many ounces do they eat at each nightly feeding (for breastfeeding: how long is baby “actively” nursing – not just suckling a mouthful here or there – yes, you’ll need to stay awake for this process).  If baby is being sporadic (i.e. sleeping through the night and then randomly not) – it’s probably one of two things: (1) baby is going through a growth spurt (should last anywhere from 2-5 days) or (2) something else in baby’s routine has recently been changed and baby is still adjusting.  If the wakefulness is sporadic (especially if it’s a growth spurt): respond to baby’s needs, but after a few nights make an effort to return to the routine of sleeping through the night so baby doesn’t get “used” to waking up to eat in the middle of the night again.

Step 2: Decrease ounces per feeding: Now that you know when you’re baby wakes up and how much he eats – it’s time to “wean” him off the nighttime feedings.  IMPORTANT NOTE: per my tip above, baby should be getting anywhere from 24-40 oz of milk per day – if he’s already getting that much during the day, then you don’t need to be as observant about eliminating nighttime feedings; however if baby is a finicky eater during the day and tends to chow down at night, you will need to be hyper observant during the day (ask for reports from daycare if necessary) – baby’s ounce intake per feeding should increase during the day as you eliminate nighttime feedings (you’re “shifting” baby’s eating schedule).  If your baby generally eats 4 oz per nighttime feeding, reduce the amount to 3 oz on the first night, then 2 oz on the second & third nights and then 1 oz on the fourth & fifth night (if you’re breastfeeding, reduce the number of minutes you feed – go from 20 min to 15 min to 10 min).  As you decrease the number of ounces, the number of nighttime feedings should naturally decrease (i.e. if he’s waking up 2-3x a night, hopefully one nighttime feeding will automatically take care of itself).

Step 3: Eliminate feedings (this is the most difficult step): After you’ve gotten your baby down to approx. an ounce of milk for his/her nighttime feeding (or approx. 5-10 min on the breast), it’s time to eliminate the nighttime feedings altogether.  If baby is still waking up 2-3x per night, eliminate one nighttime feeding at a time (usually eliminate this feeding for approx. 2 days then begin trying to eliminate another).  If baby wakes up 3x per night, eliminate the first and last feedings first – then the feeding in the middle of the night.  Here comes the hard part: baby will continue to wake up (remember, it’s still part of his/her routine) – you’ve already established he/she doesn’t really “need” anything (because you’ve gotten him/her down to hardly any milk); ignore baby for 5-10 minutes (if crying persists past 10 min, get up – feed baby the ounce you’ve gotten down to and try again the next night).  This may last for 2-5 nights, but eventually baby will realize (a) he/she doesn’t need to wake up and (b) he/she doesn’t want to.

I won’t lie to you – this was, to date, the hardest thing I’ve had to do as a mother – ignore my crying child; however it is important for baby to get a good quality of sleep (and for mommy, lol) – so by getting through this, we’ve both been better for it.  I haven’t researched if there’s any evidence of it, but I would tend the think the older baby gets, the more difficult it is to “shake up” their routine (like when moms try to wean babies from pacifiers or bottles).  Also, when baby transitions to the 1 year old room at daycare, they only take one two hour nap a day, so it’s important to get baby sleeping through the night so he/she gets enough “overall” sleep throughout the day (they continue to need 10-12 hours a day at 1).  Other moms have recommended a bedtime routine to help – I’m sure that works for some moms, honestly we have no routine (though we do try to eat dinner around the same time every night) and Bryce naturally puts himself to bed between 8-9 pm.  We do actively play with him from the time we get home (6:30pm) until dinner (7:30-7:45pm) and then we calm down.

I wish you all the best of luck with this – know it won’t be easy, but you’ll both be better for it on the other side.  Also, I hope what I wrote didn’t offend anybody – this is just the route our family went and it worked for us.  Every baby (and every family) is different and has to find what works for them.  If you have suggestions on how to get baby to sleep through the night - let me know below!  Also, if you try this method, let me know how it works for you!

Main reason I had issues initially getting my son to sleep through the night (I went back to sleep too!)

Car seat safety: how long should my child be rear facing?

This is a question that comes with a lot of parental opinions.  I know moms whose 1 year olds are forward facing and I know moms whose 5 year olds are rear facing.  I was fortunate enough to have a friend who linked me up with some great resources regarding car seat safety and the safety of my son.

My story: When my son was born we had the Graco Snugride car seat (great seat!) - however, we bought this seat used off Craigslist which I later learned was a big no no.  His convertible seat was bought new online - a Britax Marathon (great seat, I love it) - however, I later learned that Britax seats are best for children under the 30% for height for rear facing.  The reason being that in rear facing mode the straps need to come from below the child's shoulders and you should have an inch of shell remaining above the top of the head - never going to happen for my kid.  When my son was about 14 months old, I went ahead and flipped him front facing - he seemed to enjoy being able to see & interact with me more.  At 21 months (after all I have learned), I returned him to rear facing and plan to keep him that way as long as possible (preferably to age 4).  I just ordered him a Diono Radian RXT car seat to accomplish this.

Instead of trying to explain the many reasons why rear facing is preferable to front facing, I will show you this simple YouTube video by way of explanation:

Now, you may be asking yourself: ok - yes, rear facing is safer, but how long do I need to do it?  Well, if I'm honest - the US is a bit behind a lot of other countries in this regard.  The AAP just recently revised their opinion that you should rear face a child until a minimum of age 2; however the consensus among car seat technicians (and our friends across the pond) seems to be age 4 as this is when spinal ossification occurs.  The older your child is when you decide to forward face, the better - your child's body is more proportional the older they get (whereas with babies through age 2/3 most people notice that their children appear to have "large" heads - i.e. their head is not proportional to the rest of their body).

Now - here is the real reason I wrote this post.  A lot of parents tend to complain, "oh I can't see my child", or "oh, my child is uncomfortable with their legs all squished up".  This is simply not true - small children are super bendy and are perfectly comfortable riding rear facing.  Car Seats for the Littles recently put out this great article: Rear Facing Car Seat Myths Busted.  I highly recommend you give it a read.

What are your opinions are rear facing vs forward facing in a car seat?

Other informative links:

• Rear Facing Car Seats Until 4? by Theresa Giarrusso (Atlanta Journal-Constitution)
• Rear Facing Car Seats Safest For Kids Up to Age 4 by Dan Childs (ABC News)
• Advise use of rear facing child car seats for children under 4 years old by Elizabeth Watson (BMJ Publishing)
• New AAP Car Seat Safety Guidelines: Rear-Facing Until Age 2 by Sasha Emmons (Parenting Magazine)

See our other posts on car seat safety:

• More Car Seat Tips
• Car Seat Safety

My son is his Britax Marathon - rear facing.  Approx. 33 in & 26 lbs

Should you pay your child for good grades?

A few years back there was an article in USA Today about school systems providing monetary rewards for kids who do well in school (and on tests ...).

My personal experience growing up is that we were paid for good grades (like $5 for every A or something like that); however as I grew up I realized this system of reward could also be skewed (for example: I got a B in AP Bio while my sister got an A in the lowest level science class - she got $5 and I did not).

I haven't thought about this issue yet and what I'll do about it - after all, my son is only almost 2.  However, after reading a few blog posts lately on the topic I do have some thoughts and I'm curious to see what yours are as well.  At the end of the day, what I desire most is for my son to have a genuine passion for learning - I don't want to have to bribe him to get up and go to school and do well just for some monetary reward on the back end, I want him to get joy from the educational experience.

We make learning activities fun at our house - when we're practicing counting or our letters, often times snacks are involved (how many grapes do I have?).  I'm hoping to instill in my son at a young age, a joy for learning - a curiosity to be sated through books & education.  Will I reward him for a job well done in school?  More than likely.  Will I promise him on the front end of a school year that good grades will equal rewards?  Probably not.  I would prefer for him to make the association that hard work in turn equals rewards since this is how the real world works (good employees earn raises and promotions, they aren't promised them when they're hired).  I also think I will reward him in other ways aside from money - if he does really well in school perhaps we'll take a trip to some foreign country as a family where we can have fun and learn about other cultures.  If he does really well on a test, perhaps when he asks for something on one of our shopping trips out, I'll agree and say something to the effect of "you've done so well in school this week, I'm really proud of you - if you want that toy, I'll buy it for you".

I guess my conclusion on the whole matter is - I believe children should be rewarded for performance well done, I'm just not sure I agree with the whole approach of cash payments for good grades.  What are your thoughts on this matter?

Disclaimer: this post is purely my opinion and is not meant to offend any one in any way.  If you choose to comment on this post, please do so respectfully.

What your child can teach you about happiness

This is one of the BEST articles I've seen in a long time: 18 Things Children Can Teach Us About Happiness by Melissa Sher.

Reading this truly touched my heart because I see all these traits in my 2 year old son Bryce (except maybe the ones about sleeping - the kid almost never willingly wants to sleep).

This article brought to mind one particular event with my son, one day he was out playing in the backyard when I was indoors doing (what else) some light cleaning (read: picking up my toddlers mess ... again!).  I hadn't noticed that it hard started to rain (but we live in Florida, so that happens a lot) when suddenly I heard giggles coming from the back yard.  When I went to investigate, all I could do was smile.  I quickly ran back inside and grabbed my camera to snap a few shots - my son was outside, fully dressed - dancing and playing in the rain (with genuine delight!).  Up to this point, I thought he hated cold water (he's not a huge fan of his sprinkler we bought him) so I was delighted and surprised myself.  I stood there for several minutes, not making him aware of my presence and just watched him with tears welling in my eyes - "he's growing up" I told myself "don't ever forget these small moments".

Children truly help remind us about what's important: the moment.  You never know if the next one is going to come or the one after that.  Sure we can plan for the future (believe me, I'm a very type-A planner), but we can't guarantee the future is going to turn out exactly as we had planned - that's part of what makes life so fun - the what-if factor.

What's a memory of your child that brought you happiness or reminded you why children are so wonderful?

Bryce playing in the rain:

 

Gender neutrality - thoughts?

This is a subject I've come across many times during my research as a parent.

Here are some great articles in case you're not 100% up to speed on "gender neutrality" and Gender Neutral Parenting (GNP):

• 5 Myths About Gender Neutral Parenting by Paige Lucas-Stannard
• Can you really raise a genderless child? by Anna North
• Honest thoughts on my son playing with "girls toys" by Joe DeProspero

If you haven't heard the concept before, in general - GNP refers to raising you children without strict gender roles (i.e. if you son wants to wear pink or your daughter wants to dress up like Superman, you're ok with it).

There are more and more times since my son was born that I'm grateful for the time that I live in.  Gays no longer have to hide who they truly are, we're free to love amongst the races and there is more open-mindedness and acceptance for people of all walks of life.  This is the world I always wanted for my son.  My only wish for my son is his happiness - whatever walk of life he chooses, I just want him to be happy.  He'll have my love regardless, that after all, is unconditional.

I am a proponent of GNP, but not stringently so (like the couple in Anna North's piece above).  My son routinely plays with my purses, clothes, shoes & makeup.  Let's be real here: he's only 2.  He sees mommy using it and he's curious.  I don't believe for a second that my son exploring and playing with these items is going to fundamentally alter who he is as a person. 

When my husband & I decide to conceive another child, I'm going to purposely buy my son a doll (and probably a play crib and stroller) - why you may ask?  So that he can adjust to the new baby in our lives by doing what mommy & daddy do - feeding the baby, walking the baby and putting the baby to sleep.  If anything, should some of this experience stick with him subconsciously, I'd like to think it will someday contribute to him being a good father for his own children.

In general, I really don't define toys as for one gender or another.  Do I purposely buy my son dolls?  No.  Does he play with them at school?  Yes.  Does this bother me?  No.  If we happened to be at the store, and he communicated to me that he wanted a doll - would I buy him one?  More than likely.  The only way my son will ever grow and learn and become who he is truly meant to become is by exploring all of the options available to him - and I want that for him, I want him to discover what he truly loves and commit to those things with a passion that will bring his life happiness.

What are your thoughts on Gender Neutral Parenting (GNP)?  Do you think gender stereotypes will ever truly disappear?  Should they? 

Disclaimer: this post is purely my opinion and is not meant to offend any one in any way.  If you choose to comment on this post, please do so respectfully.

Timeout - yay or nay?!

Recently I read the following articles regarding time-out:

• Probing Question: Is time-out a good form of discipline for children? by Angela Spivey
• 10 Time-out Techniques by Dr. Sears
• Why Time-Out Is Out by Becky Batcha

My son is 22 months (almost 23 months!) and so far I haven't implemented any kind of formal discipline policy with him.  I am very on top of positive reinforcement in terms of "good job buddy", hugs, head pats, smiles & eye contact when he does something that pleases me or follows direction.  As much as I hate to admit it, sometimes in the heat of the moment I do spank him (never very hard - he mostly just looks at me like "what was that for?") - usually this occurs when he does something he's been told "no" on several times before, he's endangering his physical safety (i.e. running into the street) or he's made a huge mess (spilled shampoo all over the floor).  Usually afterwards, I immediately feel guilty, hug him and explain "no hunny, shampoo stays in the bottle, it doesn't go on the floor" or something like that.

After reading these articles, I think I'm going to give time-out a try.  If you have any suggestions about how to introduce time-out, please let me know.  Obviously since he's only almost 2, it will be a very short timeout, but I'm hoping that over time these time outs will reinforce positive behavior.  I'll keep you updated on how it's going and I hope these resources help you as well.  Do you have any tips on how to reinforce positive behavior and discourage negative behavior?

Being all things all the time

Recently I read this great post by fellow blogger Emily Bennington on her blog Daily Worth: Having it all doesn't mean doing it all and, as a working mother, I felt better after reading it.

For some reason, when I became a mother (or better yet when I was mostly just pregnant) - I thought I could really "have it all".  I thought I could just return to my career and continue to excel and move up the chain all the while having my new son at home where I could enjoy him every moment I wasn't at work.

Well my son came and he and I had 12 wonderful weeks to bond, then it was back to work - as a professional accountant working in a top 4 public firm, that meant a lot of OT.  Returning to work in mid-Jan was also poor timing as this is when accounting firms are often the busiest.  Needless to say, the first few weeks at work were horrible for me. 

I was lucky in the sense that my mother-in-law (MIL) was watching my son instead of me enrolling him in traditional daycare - she would show up at my house shortly before it was time for me to go to work and hangout for a bit before loading up my son and going to her place (about 40 min away).  However, working 8:30 am - 8:30 pm can quickly drain a person - let alone the mother of a newborn.  My work had lactation rooms so about 3-4 times a day, I would take a 20 minute pumping break, but even this didn't allow me to keep up with my son's demand.  He was exclusively breastfed (EBF) for 4 months and then we had to start supplementing with formula.  By 7 months, I just wasn't keeping up with him and we decided to wean.

Getting off at 8:30 pm and not getting home until 9-9:15 pm meant zero face time with my son aside from middle of the night and early morning feedings.  I was a mess - some nights I would drive home just crying because I had realized - I really couldn't have it all (granted, fading pregnancy hormones also probably played a role in this).  I couldn't' be this perfect employee and a perfect mother, I just couldn't.

Now my son is 22 months old.  I have a different job in the private sector - still demanding, still with peak times where occasional overtime is required, but nothing like where I was before.  My son attends traditional daycare with loads of other kids.  My life is -slowly- reaching a balance.  I can't spend every moment with my son, but I can make the most of the moments we have.  For the most part, I am his from the time we get home until the time he goes to sleep - granted, there are days when I give him a snack, curl up on the couch in front of the TV and let him run around with his toys, but for the most part - I'm engaged with him in the evenings, that's our time together.

Now I just need to try to find a balance to include: (1) time for me; (2) time for my husband & I as a couple and (3) time for my friends ...

I'm slowly working on (1) & (2) - hubs & I spend at least 30 minutes hanging out and talking - catching up on the nights he's not working and I'm getting back into my hobbies - blogging, reading, cooking new things.  Hubs & I have also committed to one child-free vacation a year.  Number (3) is going to take some time I think, but that's because so many of my friends just aren't at the "kid" stage yet.  I need to realize it's ok to occasionally hire a babysitter and go for a girl's night out - and I'm working on that.  I guess at the end of the day, my son has become one of my best friends - and I'm ok with that too.

How do you "handle it all"?

Have you discovered KiwiCrate yet?

By now I'm sure you've heard of the crate or box monthly phenomenon that is sweeping the internet.  Basically you sign up (for a monthly fee) and every month a box full of goodies arrives at your door for your enjoyment.  Well, Kiwi Crate is that - for kids!  Every month you get a new box with a project for your youngster.  Let me start off by saying, I am not a member of Kiwi Crate - my son is only 2; however I can see this being something I may sign up for in the future when he's a bit older and we're able to sit down and do the monthly projects together.

That being said, Kiwi Crate has great things on their site to help parents and things that are just fun!

For example:

• Get these super cute Back to School Lunch Notes that you can print and include in your child's lunch.
• Is your child tired of the same ole same ole when it comes to their lunch?  Give the Kiwi Crate Week Long Lunch Menu a try.  Includes recipes and even a shopping list to make it easy on the parents.

If you sign up for their email list, you'll be included in the emails that send out these neat items that Kiwi Crate is offering - and yes, they're free!

More Car Seat Tips

Car seat safety cannot be over-done or over-stressed.  If you're a parent who is interested in the welfare of their child - then this is important to you.  Car seat safety is of the utmost importance to me - primarily because I'm a type-A control freak and this is one area where I ultimately have no control.  I am a safe driver, however I don't know anything about the hundreds of cars around me on a daily basis - it only takes one person, doing something dumb to change my (and possibly my son's life) forever.  Therefore, I arm myself with knowledge and a quality car seat, installed properly with him seated in it correctly (and never in a winter coat).

Recently there was this good article summarizing 9 basic car seat rules: 9 Life Saving Car Seat Rules You're Probably Ignoring.  Christie Haskell does a good job pointing out a lot of "duh" things that perhaps parents are just unaware of (i.e. chest clip placement, reading your car seats manual, etc).

CarSeat.org (great reference site with forum!) has also released this super easy (and quick) document called Quick Check List for Safety Seat Misuse.

I highly recommend all parents occasionally check the tightness of LATCH straps or seatbelts and ensure child is as snug as possible in seat every time you put your child in - these small steps could save your child's life.  Obviously my #1 tip is to thoroughly read your manual and get any questions you have answered to ensure that your seat is installed correctly - doesn't matter what brand of seat you have or how much you spent on it, if your car seat is installed correctly, it will perform correctly in the event of a crash.

For more on car seats see our previous post: Car Seat Safety

High protein, low-carb diet plan

A few weeks back my co-worker mentioned he was going to start a high protein, low-carb diet.  I said "what the heck, I'll do it with you!" because I know it's easier when you have support and someone doing the same thing you're trying to do.

First off, a bit about my dieting background.  Basically, I'm a horrible dieter.  In the past, I've tried South Beach and Jenny Craig 2-3 different times.  I had like zero success on South Beach - with Jenny I had success, but the program (and food) are super expensive.

Now, I'm not ridiculously overweight - according to the BMI chart for my height (5'5") I should weigh somewhere between 115-145 to be in the normal zone.  Before starting this diet I weighed 150 lbs - the main reason I was at that weight was due to having my son and never being able to figure out how to balance eating right & working out since he came along.  When I got pregnant I weighed about 135 lbs - so compared to some mamas only holding onto 15 lbs wasn't so bad, but I knew I would feel better and enjoy life more if it was gone.  My original goal when I started this diet was to get back to 135, but since it's been going so well, my new goal is 130 - smack in the middle of my healthy BMI zone.  If it goes REALLY well, then I may try to knock another 5 lbs off after that as room to "float" between weights.

Some background on my eating history - I'm generally an everything in moderation kind of girl, though I will admit my Italian genes get the best of me sometimes because I LOVE pasta (and basically any dessert ever invented).  I also had a really bad soda habit (like REALLY bad) as I was drinking 3-4 Mountain Dews a day when I started.  Honestly my bad soda habit was another reason I was motivated to try this diet - I "knew" I was basically putting poison in my body every time I drank one, but I just couldn't seem to help it.  I thought I needed the caffeine to get through the day - turns out, I was wrong.

And FINALLY - my results thus far: it's been 3 weeks since I started this diet and I've lost 8 lbs, my goal is 10 lbs in a month, which will be the best dieting results I've ever seen on any diet.  I will keep you apprised as I continue on my dieting journey and when I (hopefully) reach my goal.

My reasoning as to why this diet works - with a lot of diets you can have things "in moderation" - that often leads to trouble because you're simply not satisfied.  With this diet, there is none of that - there is only "don't eat/drink that" and then "now eat as much of this stuff as you want".  Now this may sound even more difficult to accomplish, but surprisingly it wasn't (for me anyways) - it was easier to give something up completely then to be "allowed" to have a smidge of the amount I would normally eat.  This has also allowed my body to detox and honestly now when I have a small bite of something I shouldn't, I really don't want any more (usually because it's something processed).  I will admit - you do need to have decent willpower over yourself and what you put in your body.  If you don't, you will not be successful.  I still have to buy snacks, bread, chips, rice & pasta in my house because I'm feeding others - BUT I don't eat any of it (not yet anyways... you'll see, once you reach your goal, you can start reintroducing items).

Ok so the diet itself - my co-worker and I are using the following book: Neris and India's Idiot-Proof Diet: A Weight Loss Plan for Real Women

The basic premise is high protein, low/no carb, no sugar, no caffeine ... and yes, no alcohol (but only for the first 2 weeks).  Don't be discouraged about the no sugar thing - see my post (COMING SOON!) on these yummy no carb/low sugar desserts I've made (and eaten!) while on this diet.

The diet starts out by recommending a lot of supplements mainly because during the first two weeks your body will be detoxing - I'm not going to lie, yes - you will feel it.  Your energy levels will wan a bit and, if you're like me, you may get horrible headaches for 3-4 days.  This is your body purging all that sugar/caffeine you've been constantly putting it for however many years.  The only supplements I'm taking are: a good multivitamin or prenatal, fiber pills and whey protein powder (start with 2 lbs to find a flavor you like, I also add 3-4 ice cubes to mine to froth it up a bit - more milkshake like).  I have a new love of protein shakes, they're yummy and very filling - they're great for me too because I generally just don't like having a glass of milk (I'm using a chocolate flavor and my shakes taste like malt shakes, so yummy!).

The hardest part of the diet for me thus far has been the 3-4 days of horrible headaches I had while my body was detoxing.  I powered through it and honestly, that has been some of the biggest motivation for me not to cheat on the diet - I know one soda or one cupcake and I may have to go through a few days of that again when I get back on track - yea ... no thanks.  Since I started this diet 3 weeks ago I have only had water (flavored with Crystal Light) or milk (with my protein shakes) to drink.  That's it.  At work we have free soda for employees, but it hasn't been that hard for me to avoid it - I keep a two quart jug in the non-soda fridge and keep it full of Crystal Light.  After I lose a few more pounds, I'm going to start trying water infusions of natural fruits to wean myself off the Crystal Light (which is also all fake), but I just don't like plain water much.

Ok - so now you're like "c'mon get to the good part!" - well here is "the plan" more or less for the first two weeks.  If I see comments below that it's working for people, I'll add a post on what to do after the first two weeks.  For the most part, I'm sticking to the original two week plan until I more or less hit goal.  After two weeks you're supposed to start re-introducing items into your diet again now that you've detoxed your body - but I'd prefer not to hit a plateau until I'm closer to goal.

So here's what NOT to have in your home (if you can help it - however DO NOT eat any of these items):

• Cookies and chocolate bars
• Any cold drink that isn't water
• Any hot drink that isn't decaf tea or coffee - or herbal tea
• Anything containing sugar (check the label - weird things contain sugar like mayo and balsamic vinegar)
• All pasta
• All potatoes and potato-based products including those containing potato flour (which is found in frozen meals)
• Anything containing wheat (i.e. flour) whether it's sweet or savory
• Any oil that isn't olive or peanut
• Any fruit (just for the first two weeks - to eliminate sugar from your body)
• Any legumes (lentils, chickpeas and the like)

OK - here you go, this is what you CAN eat (and eat as much as you want!):

• Meat - any kind including roasts, ham, bacon, pastrami, salami, steak, chicken, sausages (quality only, cheap ones all full of bready fillers).  Check that bacon isn't cured with sugar.
• Eggs - the book says organic free range eggs only, but I've been eating regular eggs
• Fish - any kind you like, in whatever format (this includes canned tuna)
• Mayo (just make sure it's not loaded with sugar)
• Olive oil & peanut oil - hazelnut oil too!
• Whatever vinegar you like aside from balsamic
• Peanut butter with no added sugar - again book stresses organic, but I use JIF
• Heavy cream (yes, for real!)
• Butter (again, yes for real!)
• Herbs and spices
• Sea salt & black pepper
• Nuts - any kind provided they're natural with no added sugar; however if you have a habit of putting an entire jar of nuts away in one sitting - skip the nuts
• Any vegetables you like - excluding potatoes, carrots, corn and peas (too carby at this stage).  The best vegetables for the diet (and in general) are green, leafy ones.  Also, eat onions in moderation.
• Avocados
• Lemons & limes
• All sorts of cheese
• Mineral water - or any kind of water

LASTLY - do not buy low-carb products, no bars, no shakes - nothing.

Diet day 1:

• Weigh yourself first thing in the morning after you've pooed (if you need to)
• Take measurements (I skipped this step)
• Now go!

Golden rules:

• Drink at least 8 large glasses of water a day.
• You must have breakfast, lunch & dinner.
• Eat a combination of good fats & protein at every meal.
• Don't make the mistake of thinking that "dieting" means "low-fat".
• Have a couple of handfuls of salad leaves or other leafy green veg every day.
• Get off your backside at least once a day (more below).
• Take your supplements (I'm kind of meh on this point).
• Only weigh yourself once a week (if I'm honest, I do it daily, but only count Sunday's weigh in as weight lost - I don't care about fluctuations in ounces).
• Use a tape measure as well as the scale

It's that easy - you're not restricted on the amount of food you intake as long as it's from the above list of approved items.  Honestly, I'm pretty sure my stomach has shrunk because I don't eat nearly as much as I used to and protein seems to keep me fuller, longer.  

Last note: exercise is necessary.  I'm not talking 2 hours at the gym everyday, but 30 minutes of speed walking around your neighborhood at least 5x a week isn't completely un-doable (especially if you have kids or a dog).  The protein in your body will help you loose weight even more quickly if you can get your heart rate going.  I've been either going for a light (less than 1 mile) jog around my neighborhood or throwing my 27 lb son in his Ergo baby carrier and power walking the same distance.  In 2 days with following the diet and taking a walk with my son, I lost 1.5 lbs.  Yes, I am in love with this diet.

Since the list may make it seem kind of hard to figure out what to eat, I am including a sample "week" below of what I've been eating, I like to mix it up.

Sorry for the longest post in the history of blogging, but I've had people asking me how I'm doing it - well this is how.  If you give it a try - please let me know how it goes for you!!  Feel free to share this post with your friends.

MONDAY:

• Breakfast: protein shake
• Lunch: sandwich meat & cheese - I roll them so they look kind of like cheese sticks.  I use a variety: turkey, ham, salami and I love muenster cheese.
• Snack: handful of almonds
• Dinner: taco salad (beef, seasoning, lettuce, tomato, cheese)
• Water intake: 8-12 glasses everyday (water will help keep you full!)

TUESDAY:

• Breakfast: two scrambled eggs with cheese & 2 sausage links
• Lunch: cheeseburger (no bun) and side salad (lettuce, tomato, cucumber, cheese)
• Dinner: artichoke chicken (baked chicken with rosemary seasoning topped with artichokes & Parmesan cheese) and green bean casserole
• Dessert: protein shake (hey - they taste like malt shakes, why not?)

WEDNESDAY

• Breakfast: protein shake
• Lunch: leftovers from dinner from either Mon/Tues
• Snack: handful of almonds
• Dinner: beef casserole (no noddles for me) - beef stew chunks, mushrooms, onion soup, can of cream of mushroom soup in crockpot for 7-8 hours - I cook egg noodles for my boys, but I just eat the beef stew straight.
• Dessert: slice of carb free pumpkin/praline pie

THURSDAY:

• Breakfast: two scrambled eggs with cheese & 2 slices bacon
• Lunch: sandwich meat & cheese
• Snack: handful of almonds
• Dinner: beef kabobs - sirloin beef, onion, green pepper, cherry tomatoes - I made a side of rice for my boys and I just ate a kabob

FRIDAY:

• Breakfast: protein shake
• Lunch: I splurged and went to TGI Fridays - ordered a cheeseburger (no bun) and a side of broccoli, yummy!
• Dinner: Baked chicken breast with seasoning and green bean casserole (I made a big batch on Sunday to use as a side whenever I needed one)
• Dessert: Low-carb cheesecake

I would recommend not introducing these fun, low-carb desserts until after the two week detox window.  It's really not as hard as it sounds.  When I'm in a pinch and craving something sweet at home, I honestly usually have a chocolate protein shake and that takes care of it (I wasn't kidding when I said they were yummy) - I get my chocolate fix.  If I'm hungry and my eyes are grazing to what's "easy" because I don't feel like cooking something, I'll usually have a cheesestick or a hotdog with ketchup (make sure low sugar) - I buy the higher end angus beef hotdogs, not the ones full of filler.  You can do this.  Have the supplies in your fridge and pre-cook or pre-prepare - it really helps you stay on track.  On Sunday, I made a batch of green bean casserole to last me through the week and sometimes I just heated up a bowl of that as a snack because it was quick.  It helps to have stuff readily available when you just want a small snack (because that's when you can get into trouble).

Wishing you all the best of luck!!!  Let me know how it goes!

What does it mean to be a mindful parent?

Ever come home from work dog tired only to have your 2 year old spill an entire box of Cheerios on the floor?  Welcome to parenthood!  On the weekend, I am super flexible with my son in his curiosity and exploration of our home and all it has to offer.  On the weekdays ... not sure much.  Usually after I do any kind of harsh scolding, I immediately regret it and think there was probably a learning moment there for both of us, but often - as parents - we get so caught up in everything that's going on (work, dishes, laundry, dinner, where's the husband?, what's the toddle into now?, etc etc etc) that our patience wears thin and our temper appears.

There's a great new article (and workshop!) available on Huffington Post titled Mindful Parenting: Introducing Our New Stress-Less Parenting Workshop with Carla Naumburg.  I went ahead and signed up for her "Stress-Less Parenting" workshop and am looking forward to Carla's weekly email.

The main takeaways I got out of this article were:

• The problem is not your child - your child is exhibiting perfectly natural behavior, the problem is you and how you choose to respond to your child's behavior.
• Mindful parenting is about doing things purposefully, rather than letting our emotions (and stress, anxiety, or frustration) dictate our responses to challenges that arise.
• Be aware of your feelings and your child's perspective.
• Mindful parenting is about tuning into how you feel so you can make a thoughtful choice about how to respond to your children, rather than mindlessly reacting to them.

What are your thoughts on mindful parenting?

What mom's really want!

If you're anything like me - you're constantly trying to find the balance between work and family life.  There are at least 10x a week when I have the thought "gee I wish I could work part time".  Between keeping house, laundry, meals - not to mention actually interacting with my family ON TOP of a 40 hour work week - well yea, I go to bed about an hour after my 2 year old every night.  I'm not "really" complaining - it's my life, I chose it.  I do, however, wish there were alternatives.  The truth is to maintain our standard of living, currently I am required to work full time and I have to make my family life work with that.  Someday I hope to be able to establish my own business where I can control the amount of income I make as well as the hours I devote to it - but that day remains in the future.  Huffington Post featured an article titled What Mothers Really Want: To Opt In Between and in it they cite a Hulafrog study that is basically spot on with my feelings regarding work/life balance.  I am posting the inforgraphic below.  I'm curious to see where others stand on this issue - let me know your thoughts!

Easy (and beneficial) exercise for mamas who work

Yoga is wonderful - it's all about taking a break out your crazy day and for 30-60 minutes just being in tune with "you".  Yoga can also have several health benefits and is a good source of stretching and strength training.  If you're like me, getting to the gym is basically impossible - between work and caring for my two year old son, I don't have time for actual yoga classes (though I wish I did!).  Everyday I try to do a combination of yoga poses/stretches for two reasons: (1) to have a little "me" time and (2) because I know my body is basically stagnant during the day at work (I have one of those traditional "desk jobs").  Huffington Post released this great article for mom's like me who have no time for the gym: 12 Yoga Poses to Undo the Damage of Your Desk Job.  I highly recommend other moms give it a read and try to incorporate into their daily routine.  My personal recommendation: try to take 15 minutes first thing in the morning and 15 minutes right before bed.  If you're not a morning person, try to do 30 minutes before bed.  You don't need to do all the moves everyday, but try to mix it up as each move is designed to stretch a different part of the body.  Good luck!!  Let me know if this helps you at all!

GREAT video to get your kids to watch about internet safety!

HIGHLY RECOMMEND: Great Video on Internet Safety

Don't just try to hover over your kids and what they're doing on the internet - teach them to use the internet responsibly and what it can mean once information is out on the internet.

7 Secrets of Highly Happy Children

Today I read an article over at Huffington Post called 7 Secrets of Highly Happy Children and it got me thinking about how I interact with my son.  I agree with every point in the article and recommend you give it a read.  Reflecting on my parenting adventure thus far, I would say the main lesson my son has taught me is that you have to be engaged in the parenting process.  Yes, sometimes after work all you want to do is plop down on the couch for an hour and watch TV - however your toddler may have other plans or yell or cry to be noticed by you.  Turning the TV off and sitting on the floor, talking to your child, reading books, singing and just being silly can be as much of an escape as that hour of zoning out in front of the TV.  Time passes even more easily when you're engaged with your baby/toddler and they are aware that they have 100% (or even 50% while you're trying to cook dinner) of your attention.  There is less fussing and more fun.  Give it a try - let me know how it works out for you.  Generally in our house, the parents don't get to "chill out and watch TV" until after our 2 year old son is in bed and that's ok for us - it also helps us sleep better at night since we're exhausted from running around with him. :)

Disclaimer: this post is purely my opinion and is not meant to offend any one in any way.  If you choose to comment on this post, please do so respectfully.

Parenting humor ...

My other mom friends are constantly linking hilarious things regarding parenting so I thought I would share a few of them here with you.

Has anyone ever heard of the CTFD method of parenting?  I highly recommend you give it a read here.  David Vienna does a great job summarizing that parents just need to chill out sometimes.  As long as you love your child and are doing the best you can do for them - you're a good parent.

As a follow up to this awesome article, I found this great graphic:

Since I've become a parent, I've often noticed that I'm constantly comparing myself as a mother & parent to other parents.  "Oh, they're doing such and such, should I be doing that too?"  The truth is: there is no perfect formula out there on how to be a perfect parent and raise perfect children - we're all just mucking through it the best we can.  Have I learned things with my first that I'll do differently with my second?  Sure, but that's life - making mistakes, making changes and figuring things out as you go.

Second note to this graphic, I've noticed there is often a lot of judgment among parents (I, myself, have occasionally been guilty of it), but we need to remember that every family (and family situation) is different and parents are just doing what they can and what they believe is best for their children.  As observers (and people who may not have all the facts), we need to respect others decisions on how they raise their children, not judge them.  I also think all the differences in how we raise children are a positive, because as our children make friends they're exposed to different belief systems and different things - thus further expanding their world.

And to wrap up this post I was recently linked this funny article: 10 (Mildly Shallow) Reasons to Breastfeed.  I really have nothing to say about it as the article does a great job, but I highly recommend all moms (whether breastfeeding or not) give it a read as I'm sure it will bring a smile to your face today.

Disclaimer: this post is purely my opinion and is not meant to offend any one in any way.  If you choose to comment on this post, please do so respectfully.

Maternity Leave in the US

This is a topic that really gets under my skin.  Women work just as hard as men, yet when it comes time to start a family, the United States is one country that does not offer any kind of paid leave.  It truly is amazing to me.

Check out this awesome infographic (from HuffPost):

In the US, we have the Family & Medical Leave Act which qualifies new mom's to take up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave off from work with no penalty of losing their position.  More and more, individual companies have stepped up to help offer working moms paid maternity leave (usually at least 6 weeks at 80% pay - a basic short term disability claim), but for the hundreds of thousands of women who work part-time or lower wage paying positions, they simply have unpaid leave in a situation where it's already difficult to get by.  For the life of me, I cannot understand why we are so behind in these basic benefits.  The US ranks 27th out of 37 developed countries according to the Organization of Economic Cooperation and Development - 27th!!  Countries like India and Mexico top the US in paid maternity leave & benefits.

I won't prattle on, but I am curious to hear what your thoughts are on the matter.  I am linking several articles below and I look forward to hearing from you.

Why 26% of US women still choose not to work

Best Countries for Working Moms & Dads

Maternity Leaves Around the World

Maternity Leave Benefits Around the World

More than 120 Nations Provide Paid Maternity Leave

Motherhood Around the Globe

Disclaimer: this post is purely my opinion and is not meant to offend any one in any way.  If you choose to comment on this post, please do so respectfully.